December is here!

The Christmas tree is up and waiting for the rest of its ornaments, the hubby has started Christmas lights up on the outside of the house and in the trees :). He's insisting that this is 'baby's first Christmas, so we should do it right! I've joined a caroling group as a back up soprano and I'm loving having an excuse to sing my favorite Christmas carols! I am starting to audition more again and am singing up a storm in my heart! It's a good and blessed year!

This is a short post, but that's about all that's going on RIGHT now. :)

Getting back in the swing

I know, it's been a while! This blog gets updated far less than my other blog, and it's so easy to let them both fall by the wayside. That said, I'm getting super excited about the holiday season coming up! I'm hoping to get to perform some Christmas music somewhere this year and I just had my first audition since I've been back! For a performance of Pirates of Penzance! I actually had a lot of fun auditioning so I don't care too much about the outcome (is that horrible to say?), I was just happy to get back out there, even though I've found in recent years that I have a huge love of recitaling, so I'm also looking for/at recital/concert opportunities.

The Holidays are coming! I can't wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas! For me it's always been about the people. I love having a whole day to visit with my family- I'm lucky in that I have a wonderful family who are as good of friends to me as my friends.

In other news, the hubby has introduced me to the Danbo. Have you met them? Here's a pic in the holiday feeling:

So here's to the holidays, hopeful holiday singing, Hopefully Winter Weather, and a Month (or two, depending on how long it takes before I write again) of joyful times!

Real Love

It's funny, I was talking to my mom recently about relationships, and how one of the reasons so many people don't get married or divorce is because a lot of us have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is. Then we were talking about why that is, and we kind of came up with movie and book romances. And that got me thinking. Why is it that, in the romance section, there isn't much by way of realistic romances. Even books that are more realistic, aren't that realistic because they're talking about some big romance and finding the 'perfect mate' that 'sweeps you off your feet'.

Don't get me wrong here as I go off on this tangent, I love my husband and I feel lucky and blessed to have him, but we don't have some big romantic love. When we started dating there was romance and zing and this overwhelming feeling of love. It didn't last - it's not meant to! (Dr.Gary Chapman [who wrote The 5 Love Languages] talks about how we meet someone and experience the 'in-love' sensation, but that it will only last for a short period of time). Dr. Chapman also talks about how that 'in-love' feeling is immune to imperfections and possible problems down the road- not that they should end a marriage, but that the feeling of obsessive love means that you aren't necessarily looking at your relationship's ins and outs clearly.

So then we go back to our lovable romances - and don't get me wrong here, because I LOVE those books and I read them all the time as my own guilty pleasure - but those books are kind of nonsense. Yes, you can meet some one and fall in love and have a wonderful romance, but most people don't experience harrowing escapes and abusive exes (like in the books) that bring you together in a super romantic and passionate way. And let's face it - Guys fart. where does it say that in my romance books. There's no paragraph that goes:

"Jack and Jill were lying in bed after having had a stressful day. They lay back to back, not looking at each other, not talking. Each has a book in their hands and are quietly reading when he lets off a 'silent but deadly' fart. Seeing that she hasn't noticed, he pretends it didn't happen, but when she smells in and starts strangling from the stench, he bursts out laughing at her reaction."

There is also not the paragraph that says:

"Jack had the day off from work and had promised Jill he would wash the dishes before she got home from a very long day. However, as the day progressed, he discovered that all he really wanted to do was watch Star Trek and maybe putter on his motorcycle for a bit. So he didn't wash the dishes and when Jill got home they were still there. Feeling put out, but thinking that maybe Jack just really needed to get something else done, Jill changes clothes and washes the dishes while she fixes dinner."

Nope, not romantic enough?

"One day, Jack and Jill decided it would be a great day to go and enjoy the nice weather. So Jill packed up a picnic lunch and Jack got out the motorcycle helmets. Jill told Jack to grab the backpack, but when they got to the picnic area they discovered that they had both forgotten it, so they went home."

Still not doing it for you?

"Jill, well, she's not perfect and she has a lot of shoes. Some days when she gets home all she can think about doing is taking off her shoes and crawling onto the couch to get the weight off of her feet. This often results in shoes and socks in random places around the house. Jack hates it, but what can he do?"

People - this is what relationships are actually like! There is no great love. There is love, and plenty, but it is interspersed with frustrations and undone honey-do lists! The trick is that people who get married and stay married are devoted and determined to make this thing work. Nobody's perfect. Everyone farts. Finding lasting love is more about finding someone you can life with and still (mostly) love at the end of the day. Its about work. It's about recognizing cues from the other person and exercising patience. Your mom and dad weren't perfect and, if you had a pretty good childhood, you were able to live with them with no major upsets.

So - I kind of want to challenge someone who wants to be a writer, to write about a Real 'romance'. About the guy who farts and the girl who leaves things all over the place. About maintaining love through difficult and frustrating times. About what it really is to be married and how that big first flush of 'in-love' can face to a comfortable day-to-day, everlasting love.

p.s. you should totally read these books if you are in a serious relationship:

The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

and

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman

5 months later... Honeymoon pt. 1

So, we finally went on our honeymoon to Kauai. it was the perfect timing, just when we both REALLY needed a break. We had a morning flight on Friday that got us into Honolulu around 11:30am Hawaii time. We then took a 'hop' to Kauai and we ended up on 'our' island at 1:20pm. When we got to the rental place they were all out of sub-compact cars, so we ended up with an upgrade (free!) to a hardtop Jeep Wrangler! :) Afternoon one was 'errand day.' We went to lunch at Fish Express in Lihue, grabbed groceries from Walmart (across the street), and headed North on the main highway. Along the way we stopped at Snorkel Bob's in Kapa'a for snorkel gear (highly recommended, especially if you're on a budget. They also have correctional goggles for a little more). It was SUCH a beautiful day, that Friday, so the 45+ minute drive was amazing. We checked into our hotel, changed and headed to the beach (of course!) and then we went to the resort pool (AWESOME pool) and then went out to dinner in Hanalei at this great place called Kalypso Bar and Grille. the coconut shrimp was delicious and I tried my first Pina Colada.

Saturday our wake up was early (yay jet lag!) and I cooked breakfast in the room after doing some yoga on the lanai of our room while it rained in the rainforest next to the resort (that we could see from our room). We went to the Hanalei farmers market and got a pretty awesome take: We decided to go down to the south part of the island for the day and stopped for coffee in Kapa'a at Java Kai. We grabbed lunch at the puka dog in Poipu, if you've never had puka dog and you're in Kauai, you should definitely try Puka Dog, if for nothing but the experience of a hot dog inside of a sweet roll with interesting flavored sauces! Then we went to Spouting horn, a place where lava tunnels create a geyser-like water spray when the waves go through the tunnels. We headed to Poipu beach park, which was a fun beach, lots of sun, and lots of people. After that came a trip to the Kauai Coffee Company. It was the first time I'd seen coffee plants in person, and they had some great roasts and the gift shop had lots of fun things to look at. Then we headed up north again, stopping at the Defries lunch wagon to get 'Da Best' Shave Ice. My first shave ice experience and it was a total winner! While we were there, it started pouring rain and we watched a couple in a soft-top jeep drive in and try to put the top back on their car. It was hilarious and after all of it, they gave up. After the shave ice stop, we headed to the Kilauea lighthouse overlook and took in a sunset over the ocean. When it started raining again, we headed back to Hanalei and got pizza at Hanalei pizza - amazingly tasty pizza. We had a surprise when we got back to the room; there was this HUGE spider on the wall of the bedroom. for size reference - a spider the size of Ethan's palm. When Ethan caught it (in a water glass, somehow) he realized that it was having babies, the guy who took it out of the room told us later that the spider had about 200 babies!

More on the honeymoon later!

Getting ready to honeymoon - finally

Ethan and I will be going on our first big trip as a married couple next week! So excited. will write later to let you know how it was!

Life is crazy

Seems like I'm working up a storm... maybe sometime I'll write on here again...

Wedding

Who knew this would be so stressful? there is so much that needs to be done and it's all fairly expensive! I just want to marry the guy, not spend our life savings on one day in our life!

that being said, some aspects are fun!

these bouquets are gorgeous and i'd like something like this or simpler:

I would like my lovely ladies to express themselves in their bridesmaid dresses - as long as it's cobalt blue! :

this is one of my favorites:

but this would be gorgeous too:

love all the choices out there and all my girls have a great sense of style all their own, so i know they're going to make great choices...

And choosing the music is fun, but stuff like rental tents, and deciding on food, and all those nitpicky details that require such work are killing me...